Can you remember any of your great disappointments? I don’t mean those grand personal ones, like a failed marriage or losing a job; what I mean are those things and situations you dreamed of for a very long time and when you finally got a chance to confront your ideas with reality they turned out to be a complete disillusionment and made you think "So this is what so many people made so much fuss about? I wonder why..."

I can remember a few. The first one is quite traumatic, I must confess, and haunts me even now. As I child I was rather chubby (to be polite). Our family was managing just alright, we didn’t’ starve, but we - the kids - always longed for good quality candy and exotic fruit, just like everyone else in Poland at that time. Now, my auntie’s family was always rather well-off, they went on holiday to Bulgaria (sic!) every year with their own caravan and always had plenty of meat for dinner. From one of their trips to Golden Sands of the Black Sea they brought a few tins of halva. Someone happened to mention that while I was around - big mistake. I started whining that I wanted to try some. "I WANT SOME HALVA!" After half an hour of this yelping uncle reluctantly, as it was the last one, opened the can. Until then I had never tried this rare specialty. I was sure it was going to be the delight of my life. How wrong. I hated it! I had a tiny little bit and it was HORRIBLE. It was bitter and greasy. Until today I don’t know whether I just had bad luck and tasted nasty halva or if I just don’t like it, because since then I never tried it again... My family was merciless. Even today they remind me of it as a great joke (I really don’t understand why they find it funny) when fat Magda begged for some halva and then didn’t want it.

Another time when I thought "Gee, why do people get so excited about it" was after a night I spent on a waterbed. During our stay in the US my family and I were invited to spend a weekend at friends of my dad’s. When I learned that I was going to sleep on a waterbed I was very thrilled. It sounded so luxurious and posh. Wow, a WATERBED! Only the Carringtons sleep on something like that! I took a nice shower and with loud "aaaaah" I threw myself onto the bed and heard a strange noise, like a leaking tap. It really was filled with water, that I am sure of. Every time I tried to change position the bed rocked like a boat in a storm, which was accompanied by loud gurgling. The night was a nightmare. I couldn’t sleep. I kept tossing in my bubbling bed. In the morning I swore I wouldn’t ever do it again even if I was paid to do it.

I am just wondering if I just had terrible bad luck or maybe these things aren’t good but are thought to be good and people don’t dare say they don’t like it? I really don’t know. All I know is that I am through with halva and waterbeds!

to turn out - okazać się
disillusionment - rozczarowanie
to make fuss about something - robić wokół czegoś szum/zamieszanie
to confess - wyznać, spowiadać się
to haunt - nawiedzać, dręczyć, prześladować
chubby - pyzaty
to starve - głodować
to long for something - tęsknić za czymś
well-off - zamożny
caravan - przyczepa kempingowa
halva - chałwa
whine - jęczeć, skamlać
to mention - wspomnieć
to yelp - skamlać, marudzić
reluctantly - niechętnie
specialty - specjał
delight - rozkosz, przyjemność
merciless - bezlitosny
waterbed - łóżko wodne
thrilled - podekscytowany
posh - elegancki, ekskluzywny
to leak - kapać, przeciekać
to rock - kołysać się
to gurgle - chlupać
to toss in bed - przewracać się w łóżku
bubble - bulgotać, chlupać
to be through with something - skończyć z czymś